Ok…Call me “Einstein”, but I came across some scripture this morning that was a great reminder for me…something I had forgotten to apply to myself.
My expectations are typically high for everything…but the expectations I have on myself are the absolute highest. A personality flaw some might say…I allow no margin of error for myself. I can be rather quick to forgive those around me who make mistakes. However, when it comes to my own mistakes, there is never any need for anyone to punish me, as I take care of that myself.
This weekend I was challenged. I made a mistake, reverting to some old ways of thinking and old behaviors. A friend lovingly reminded me that things would be “ok”, and that from time to time we all “glance back” for a moment. I was ashamed and embarrassed at my response to temporarily “glance back”. I couldn’t believe I had made so much progress and then in the blink of an eye…I did it.
For 24 hours I could not “shake” it. I had failed! How many times before had I done this…and how many more times would I return there. Why couldn’t I just “get it right” and “be done” with this area of my life.
In my disappointment, I lost sight of who I was; I lost sight of the amazing grace of God. I lost sight of who I am in Christ...sacred, treasured, loved enough to die for. In loosing sight, I began to focus on the lies I had believed for so long about myself. One bad decision sent me into a cascade of negative thoughts.
The law perfected nothing, but a better hope is introduced, through which we draw near to God. Hebrews 7:19
This verse reminded me that God is not after our “perfection”. He is after our “faith” !
Christ came as the royal priest. He came to perfectly meet our needs…Not recognizing this truth would mean not recognizing what took place on the cross.
This is great comfort for those of us who struggle with feelings of needing to be “perfect”; who feel we can live with no “margin of error”.
My sights are now adjusting, as my aim is no longer “perfection” but rather “faith”.
Through faith, I was able to walk away from the poor choice I was making. Through faith, I was reminded of who I am in Christ. Without faith, we simply walk in our own strength…I don’t know about you, but I desire to tap into strength much stronger than what I possess!
What are you "tapping into"?
Blessings,
Monday, October 18, 2010
Saturated! Pause Button Required
10-3-2010:This week I’ve experienced an endless wave of God’s faithfulness…blessing after blessing…so much that I finally had to beg the Lord to withhold any more for the remainder of the week. I found myself at a point of complete saturation.
I haven’t been diligent in sharing details of the land development in Bweya Village, Uganda, probably due to a lack of faith in God’s previsions. Ekissa has been in the process of purchasing 3 acres of land in order to build a “hub of care” for the children. This “hub” is to include a church, orphanage, medical clinic and school.
The land in Uganda is unbelievably expensive due to the percentage of land available for general consumption among “commoners”. The majority of land is owned by the government. I was told 2 weeks ago that another ministry paid $40,000 per acre! The Ugandan man, “Mr. Robert”, which ekissa is purchasing land from, has agreed to permit us to purchase 3 acres for $28,000 per acre…roughly $90,000 for the 3 acre tract.
Upon meeting Mr. Robert and seeing his land, there was no doubt this particular land was the partial of land God desired for ekissa to inhabit. However, I must confess I’ve been a little overwhelmed with the contract of purchase. Mr. Robert has allowed us to pay for one acre at a time, giving us 2 months in between each payment, to raise the following $28,000. This meant ekissa was responsible for roughly $90,000 over a period of 6 months.
God provided the $28,000 for the first acre of land in a matter of 4 weeks through Facebook post and word of mouth. This second acre has been a little more challenging. I was a little fearful of what “Mr. Robert’s” reaction might be if we hadn’t raised the full payment of $28G’s by Sept 22. Weeks before the payment deadline for acre #2 , the Lord led me to a piece of scripture.
“Write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. This vision-message is a witness pointing to what’s coming. It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn’t lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It’s on its way. It will come right on time.” Habakkuk 2:2-3
From the time Christ led me to this scripture, I stood confident that payment #2 would arrive…however, it would NOT arrive at the contractually agreed upon time…Despite the “delay” in payment, I had a tremendous peace concerning Mr. Robert’s acceptance of its delay. However, in an effort to “prepare” him, I attempted to contact Mr. Robert for more than 1 ½ weeks to keep him informed of the status of our funds towards the second payment. Despite my ongoing efforts, I was never able to get through to Uganda. The airways get so congested that it is often extremely difficult to get through.
Well, as I was prepared in advance through scripture, payment day came and went and ekissa was $8,000 short. Upon the encouragement of a board member, I phoned Mr. Robert to inform him of the status of our fundraising efforts. I asked the Lord to honor our efforts and to clear the technology highways such that I could reach Mr. Robert by phone with my first effort…and He did! (Unless you’ve dealt with the frustrations of successfully making a phone call to Uganda, you probably can’t appreciate this to its fullest!)
Not only was Mr. Robert acceptance of our “short fall”, he instructed for me to simply send the funds we had raised…and the blessing doesn’t stop there…
Mr. Robert stated for me to hold on to the final payment in November and that we would renegotiate that payment when we arrive in December!….and, yet again, the blessings continue…
Just a few hours later there was a knock at my door. In stepped an individual who stated 3 weeks prior to this day, they felt called to pay the remaining balance of acre # 2!
There has been much that has flooded my heart this week…but this week I felt God focus in and test not only my willingness to trust Him but also for Mr. Robert to trust in the faithfulness of Christ. Often, we feel if there is a delay, it’s about us. In the end perhaps it’s not…perhaps the delay has absolutely nothing to do with us, and everything to do with another individual. Something I recognize is that Mr. Robert and I both are living a surrendered life…and even in the midst of our business contract of purchasing land, we can not compartmentalize our life.
Imagine how things could have turned out if we both weren’t surrendered to God. Now, I’m not questioning the sovereignty of God, as He can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants. However, the ease in which this situation was handled was amazing...and then the blessing of the $8,000…that gift will be a blessing to Mr. Robert and it certainly eased some of the bondage I have felt in entering into this land purchase.
Funny thing is, I’ve felt all along this land in Uganda belongs to the Lord…so in His calling for ekissa to purchase it for His Kingdom’s work, why wouldn’t He provide the resources to purchase it?!
Often we want to worship God on Sunday’s and leave Him out of the other 6 days of the week. If we only look for Him one day a week, we’re missing out on daily experiences with the Lord and lots of opportunities to worship Him! Regular, consistent fellowship leads to worship everyday of the week!
“Sing! Sing! Sing unto the Lord, for He is worthy to be praised…”
There are blessings all around us...do you ever find yourself "saturated" with His goodness?
…striving to stay in tuned with what God is doing in, and all around me! I'm challenging you to do the same!
Blessings,
I haven’t been diligent in sharing details of the land development in Bweya Village, Uganda, probably due to a lack of faith in God’s previsions. Ekissa has been in the process of purchasing 3 acres of land in order to build a “hub of care” for the children. This “hub” is to include a church, orphanage, medical clinic and school.
The land in Uganda is unbelievably expensive due to the percentage of land available for general consumption among “commoners”. The majority of land is owned by the government. I was told 2 weeks ago that another ministry paid $40,000 per acre! The Ugandan man, “Mr. Robert”, which ekissa is purchasing land from, has agreed to permit us to purchase 3 acres for $28,000 per acre…roughly $90,000 for the 3 acre tract.
Upon meeting Mr. Robert and seeing his land, there was no doubt this particular land was the partial of land God desired for ekissa to inhabit. However, I must confess I’ve been a little overwhelmed with the contract of purchase. Mr. Robert has allowed us to pay for one acre at a time, giving us 2 months in between each payment, to raise the following $28,000. This meant ekissa was responsible for roughly $90,000 over a period of 6 months.
God provided the $28,000 for the first acre of land in a matter of 4 weeks through Facebook post and word of mouth. This second acre has been a little more challenging. I was a little fearful of what “Mr. Robert’s” reaction might be if we hadn’t raised the full payment of $28G’s by Sept 22. Weeks before the payment deadline for acre #2 , the Lord led me to a piece of scripture.
“Write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. This vision-message is a witness pointing to what’s coming. It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn’t lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It’s on its way. It will come right on time.” Habakkuk 2:2-3
From the time Christ led me to this scripture, I stood confident that payment #2 would arrive…however, it would NOT arrive at the contractually agreed upon time…Despite the “delay” in payment, I had a tremendous peace concerning Mr. Robert’s acceptance of its delay. However, in an effort to “prepare” him, I attempted to contact Mr. Robert for more than 1 ½ weeks to keep him informed of the status of our funds towards the second payment. Despite my ongoing efforts, I was never able to get through to Uganda. The airways get so congested that it is often extremely difficult to get through.
Well, as I was prepared in advance through scripture, payment day came and went and ekissa was $8,000 short. Upon the encouragement of a board member, I phoned Mr. Robert to inform him of the status of our fundraising efforts. I asked the Lord to honor our efforts and to clear the technology highways such that I could reach Mr. Robert by phone with my first effort…and He did! (Unless you’ve dealt with the frustrations of successfully making a phone call to Uganda, you probably can’t appreciate this to its fullest!)
Not only was Mr. Robert acceptance of our “short fall”, he instructed for me to simply send the funds we had raised…and the blessing doesn’t stop there…
Mr. Robert stated for me to hold on to the final payment in November and that we would renegotiate that payment when we arrive in December!….and, yet again, the blessings continue…
Just a few hours later there was a knock at my door. In stepped an individual who stated 3 weeks prior to this day, they felt called to pay the remaining balance of acre # 2!
There has been much that has flooded my heart this week…but this week I felt God focus in and test not only my willingness to trust Him but also for Mr. Robert to trust in the faithfulness of Christ. Often, we feel if there is a delay, it’s about us. In the end perhaps it’s not…perhaps the delay has absolutely nothing to do with us, and everything to do with another individual. Something I recognize is that Mr. Robert and I both are living a surrendered life…and even in the midst of our business contract of purchasing land, we can not compartmentalize our life.
Imagine how things could have turned out if we both weren’t surrendered to God. Now, I’m not questioning the sovereignty of God, as He can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants. However, the ease in which this situation was handled was amazing...and then the blessing of the $8,000…that gift will be a blessing to Mr. Robert and it certainly eased some of the bondage I have felt in entering into this land purchase.
Funny thing is, I’ve felt all along this land in Uganda belongs to the Lord…so in His calling for ekissa to purchase it for His Kingdom’s work, why wouldn’t He provide the resources to purchase it?!
Often we want to worship God on Sunday’s and leave Him out of the other 6 days of the week. If we only look for Him one day a week, we’re missing out on daily experiences with the Lord and lots of opportunities to worship Him! Regular, consistent fellowship leads to worship everyday of the week!
“Sing! Sing! Sing unto the Lord, for He is worthy to be praised…”
There are blessings all around us...do you ever find yourself "saturated" with His goodness?
…striving to stay in tuned with what God is doing in, and all around me! I'm challenging you to do the same!
Blessings,
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